haven't wrote for quite a while, no real news actually.
in june i startet to get swollen knees. nobody knew what the matter was. ellbows and wrists followed. rheumatoid arthritis. great.
through the diagnosis they've found lots of things, like a skoliosis and slipped disks and a deformed hip of which i haven't known.
yeah, there was pain sometimes, but not that i would see a doc for that.
things changed quite. my husband takes care of me. for all the reasons you could hate him, in the time when i was so much in pain, he did everything possible and more to comfort me.
medication scares the crap out of me (methotrexate, also used in chemotherapy) but is the only chance to get the painlevel to bearable.
had 14 joints swollen, several shots per week to survive the pain. meanwhile only ellbows and knees and that part that connects the spine with the hip (the names are like riddles to me) really sucks.
kids are mainly in good mood, no larger troubles there at present.

Leor the younger twin boy came today and asked me ' Mom, if I am younger and Tay is older, does that mean he get's to die first?'
Gee whiz, what to tell him?
After gathering myself a little, I told him, that life isn't a race and that he should consider, that especially being a twin that would only mean to be left if the other dies first.

Tap myself on the shoulder. It worked.

Sometimes I really don't know where to get answers for these boys.

mood: thoughtful

the kick in the butt i needed lol.
i'll do my best